Thursday, January 18, 2007

On Choosing the Right 'Distance' Word

Intentionally, or unintentionally, as a writer you use distance words without probably knowing it. I'm not talking about the actual reference to distance but the way you get the reader to view what you as the author are writing about.
Words, I am told, (Flesch and Lass, 1996), not only tell us about something, but also give the reader an idea of distance.
EG:
At first the bright light in the sky could appear as a star, until you realize it is moving then it could be a meteor, comet, or sputnik, until it gets closer and becomes the landing lights of a plane....
Location/surroundings, brightness/color, and shape, help your brain process what you see in the distance, as a writer you do this for the reader.
eg: A large brown shape at the edge of the lake looks like a moose, when on closer inspection it turns out be a wagon piled with bales of hay...until you get close enough you have no idea what it is.
If you use the incorrect 'distance word' it is like getting the reader to look at your story from 'down the wrong end of the telescope'.
eg... Walking home I noticed the street was unusually noisy for this time of night.
Okay...- the reader is with you on the street and you are telling them it is noisy... (the old show don't and tell)
So why not write, ...
I turned into my street. The sound of racing feet on the cobbles heading to the shouting and cheering coming from the usually quiet pub, told me that Cardif was winning.

You are still at distance but the scene is more accessible to the reader... will the writer join the fun at the pub or pass by. You have kept distance added color and information. Vague versus more exact... the 'right word' is one that will give the reader the idea of the information he needs to know.
As a writer, by choosing the right words you have the opportunity to get your reader as close, or, keep them as distant as you think your story warrants . 'If you want the reader to get close up you have to use close up words.'
So I leave you with the following...
"He had a wart on the side of his nose." vs "I could see five hairs growing out of the wart on the side of his nose."
Gross, but ... such is writing 'warts n' all'.

1 comment:

Amy Ruttan said...

Great post. I know to well how I used to write in a passive voice.